| Goat Tracks Outside CT | International Tracks | Wannabes and Usedtobes in CT | Wannabes and Usedtobes outside CT | Anti-Goat Tracks (private) |
Other Stuff | ||
| Chowdah | non-Chowdah | West of the River | East of the River | ||||
| Edgewood | Grossingers Little G | Dunloe | Simsbury Farms | Grassmere CC | Triggs Memorial | Wampanoag CC | Recommended Tracker Reading |
| Coventry Pines | Vanny | Castle Rosse | Tower Ridge | Minnechaug | Eagle Sticks | Other Sites of Interest | |
| Goddard Park | The Terp Track | Hawk's Landing | Rolling Meadows | The Ranch | The Cornetta Golf Clinic. 7/10 | ||
| Pembroke |
Hoboken Golf (Virtual Track) |
Timberlin | Okemo | 2009 Golf Show Review (CT Expo Center) | |||
| Fairchild Wheeler | 2008 Golf Show Review (Javits Center) |
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| Rolling Greens |
Other Sites |
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Stanley GC a/ka "Stashu" | Myrtle Beach (various) |
cated on Sheep Pasture Road, much less a course sign next to the street sign (pictured at left), without attracting attention from the Goat Track folks. (2007 Goat Tracker of the Year, Sherpa Matt, gets a pass here; since he recommended the course and from what we understand, approaches Edgewood from a different direction). At the entrance to the course though, the 60-degree ascent to get to the parking lot and pro shop makes it pretty clear that one is in rarefied Tracking air, with a good view of the Berkshires, to boot.
ts mapped out on the scorecard. Rest assured, it was more than funny to the Sherpas.
out of 4 GT logos, which puts it ahead of most Goat Tracks we've reviewed this year. Overall, a good value (a great value if you catch the twilight rate) and better than average Goat Tracking experience; difficult to surpass, really.
Coventry Pines GC, Coventry, Rhode Island (reviewed July, 2009)
An aptly named course, since it's both located in Coventry and loaded with pine trees. We're pretty sure that there weren'
t any sleepless nights spent trying to name the course. Coventry Pines meets or exceeds most Goat Tracking criteria and is definitely worthy of being considered Goat Track material. Our thanks to Dan, who both recommended this fine course and joined us for a round, providing his "local expertise."
The Coventry Pines Review
Pre-tee
There's a lot to take in from the gravel parking lot at Coventry Pines while you get your sticks out of the trunk. As you soak it all in, you may notice that Coventry Pines doesn't have a range, it has a "practice field," similar to the practice area near the cricket fields at Keney...maybe...to a certain extent...we'll leave it at that.
Continuing the pre-game warm-up, after loosening up on the practice field (closed when we played), you may want to hit the practice green.
This earns high marks here, mainly because it reinforces part of the Costanza Constant, as noted on the GOAT TRAQ FAQ page. The practice green at Coventry Pines, in addition to being the smallest we've ever seen, is also built into a slope near the pro shop (don't let the picture at right fool you). The result is that there's no chance in hell that you can encounter a putt on the course that even vaguely resembles one from the practice green. We can't heap enough praise on the Coventry Pines folks for pointing out the sheer futility of practice greens. The added bonus was the lines strung overhead (not visibile in the picture above, unfortunately), within arm's reach. Consider yourself warned not to raise your putter over your head here, otherwise you may get what you deserve for being on a practice green in the first place.
Pro Shop: What else is there to say? Classic, rustic, New England. A stone chimney? It all works. We also app
reciated the "no alcoholic beverages allowed on the course" sign posted near the pro shop. This appears to be there mainly for entertainment purposes since, in our brief sampling of carts leaving the course before we teed off, there were probably as many with coolers as without. Maybe it was just a picnic lunch thing.
Onto the Course...
We were told that Coventry Pines usually "crisps up nicely" by mid-summer, but with this summer's heavy rainfall, we encountered completely different Tracking conditions (it's worth noting that we played this Track after some pretty heavy precip the previous night). Based on course conditions, we did some follow-up research to confirm that Coventry, Rhode Island is in fact approximately 420 feet above sea level.
Layout: For the most part, it's uncomplicated, with a lot of pine trees. Classic old school Tracking.
Fairways/Rough: Aside from approach angle, no real benefit or downside to being in one versus the other, consistent with a lot of Tracks we play.
Bunkers: We ran into a couple on #1 and #3 that were partially "reclaimed," possibly a sand conservation measure. A fair number of them are essentially flat; those that aren't demonstrate a remarkable ability to retain water, which may explain the design preference for flat bunkers. The ones that weren't holding enough water to be used as stocked ponds were firm enough to make rakes unnecessary; a good way to speed up play (and since we finished in 2 hours flat, no complaints here).
Greens: The most notable feature here was that most putts absolutely died about a foot or so from the hole. Conditions were generally consistent with what we'd expect at a true Goat Track; some bare spots here and there, random unrepaired ball marks, etc., but nothing too unusual. That said, people who should know better insisted on violating the Universal Truth of Goat Track Putting (no break on a green at a public course). Not surprisingly, none of those putts made their way into the cup (apparently "Ignore This Universal Truth at Your Own Peril" doesn't register with some folks).
Drainage: Usually, this section of a typical Goat-Track.com course review falls under the "Water Hazards" heading, but "Drainage" is the more relevant issue to address here. As noted above, we checked to make sure that we weren't at or below sea level, given the proximity to the Narragansett Bay, Pettaquamsutt River, etc.
The 4th hole took the whole "walking on a waterbed" concept that we encountered at the 2008 GT Championship at Airways GC last August to a new level. It was amazing to see h
ow much of the course was floating on subsurface water. We're not civil engineers, but purely out of coincidence, we played Chanticlair GC earlier in the week and discovered that a course can actually be drained to the point where the question doesn't arise whether it should be converted to a cranberry bog. In our less than expert opinion, one thing that may have impeded good drainage was that every "brook" on the course has a maximum depth of six inches. Oddly enough, one of the driest places on the course "strictly prohibited" cart travel. Go figure.
Other Notable Track Features
If you want to imagine that you're playing somewhere else, which isn't unreasonable, the left rough on #7 is the place to be, as it evokes thoughts of the fabled "pine straw" at Augusta National....if you've been out in the sun long enough to really tap into your creative inner Tracker.
#8: A par-3 with a blind shot to the pin. There's a tree behind the green with a bullseye nailed to it to provide a rough idea of where to hit your shot. Brilliant. GT Duke pointed out that the initials "GT" were painted on the corner of the sign. Pure coincidence, or is it...
Kickin' it Old School: Literally. Coventry Pines (and nearby Goddard Park, which we also played that afternoon) are the only courses we've run into since the mid 90's that allow metal spikes. The challenge, of course, is to find a place that sells them (Golfer Number Two had to resort to buying them on eBay [may as well have been the black market], but he's now the proud owner of something that resembles real golf spikes...and you just can't put a price on that!).
In summary, while there's absolutely no question that Coventry Pines is a true Goat Track, we're going to rate it
out of 4 GT logos for now, pending a future review.
Goddard Memorial State Park Golf Course, East Greenwich, Rhode Island (reviewed July, 2009)
After playing 9 at Coventry Pines, the second half of our Land O'Chowdah double dip, Goddard Park, provided a good change of scenery. The split doubleheader concept is pure genius from a Goat Tracking perspective; fifteen minutes or so to get in the car, listen to some tunes or a ball game, regroup, and prepare for the next course. We can't say enough good things about it. Of course, this feat is much easier to pull off at 9-hole Goat Tracks that don't accept tee times. Both Coventry Pines and Goddard Park fit the bill on that front.
Based on prevailing weather conditions in the Northeast this "summer" (i.e., "maybe I'll build an ark, just in case") prior to playing Goddard Park, it was fair to assume that the "normal" midsummer conditions, based on "normal" rainfall and no fairway irrigation weren't to be expected.
The Goddard Park Review
Pro Shop: How can you beat having a pro shop that looks like (maybe actually is) a log cabin? The overhang and wraparound porch is apparently a place where Cliff Claven fans share their thoughts with golfers waiting to hit the first tee. Indescribably enjoyable.
Fairways: Similar to other Goat Tracks we've played this summer, Goddard Park was "greener than the historical norm," i.e., not brown. Upon closer inspection, both GT Duke and Golfer Number Two noticed that, if you're not rolling the ball over in the fairways, you'll probably end up hitting through enough carefully camouflaged crabgrass to either throw your back out or at a minimum, cuss out your shot as your club gets caught in it. In general, the fairways are wide enough to land passenger jets, which is fine by us.
Rough: As advertised just prior to our round, by our tour guide, Dan. Heavy enough to make shots seemingly disappear; sparse enough to allow a Tracker walking through it to stumble across more golf balls than he lost. And under those circumstances, a found ball is your ball. There is no moral high ground here.
Bunkers: Not much to note here, average for the most part, aside from the bunker in front of the green on #6. Front lip raised a few feet above the green, kind of like staring into a crashing wave, blind shot to the pin, has airmail/re-approach from behind the cart path written all over it. Fair enough; if you can't hit the green on a 295-yard dogleg par-4, you get what you deserve. Respectable.
The Muni-Track Thing, it's all about flava...
We've never been to Bethpage, but if we had to guess, on the spectrum of state/municipal parks with golf courses (with...say Keney at one end of the spectrum and Bethpage at the other), Goddard Park is probably closer to Keney than Bethpage.
The entrance to Goddard Park starts off with some stone walls along the roadside and stone pillars at the entrance gate. The first impression is impressive, as you wind through the park on the way to the course (opposite of Keney, where you see the course first, before the "happy picknickers")
A major difference between Goddard Park and Keney Park is that there's a picnic area at Goddard bordering the course behind the 7th green and 8th tee, whereas the picnic area at Keney is well sequestered. GT Duke did raise an interesting and timely question on the 8th tee, "Kind of a long day out here and I'm thirsty. Do you think that if we walked over and asked, we could get a good mojito?"
In summary: Although we may have missed the opportuynity to play Goddard Pard under the conditions previously advertised, it can't be denied status as a Goat Track and the Keney flava was just great. We'll give it
GT logos out of four
Pembroke Country Club, (Pembroke, Mass.); submitted November, 2007 by GT Duke.
I have a Track for you, Pembroke CC. Looks great (unTracklike) in pictures, but don't let that fool you. By July this year it would have made Airways look like Augusta National during the Masters. What looks like grass is actually goose crap. There is actually "ground under repair" on some of the greens, I kid you not. Before May and after June it's in true Track form, within that window, not so Track-like. On the flip side, as a former country club, it's one of the best layouts I've ever played; a great mix of short and long par 3's and 4's, a reachable par 5, and mostly elevated greens.
Brief History of the Track: purchased by the current owner about ten years ago for real estate development, which was kiboshed by the local zoning board. As a result, there is little, if any maintenance, which has allowed this "Country Club" to achieve Track status. Although the site link for wedding facilities at the Club is both a bit disturbing and untracklike, it doesn't detract too much from this course's Track credentials.
Non-Chowdah Tracks
Grossingers Little G (a/k/a "The Gold Standard of Goat Track Golf" (course review submitted by Sherpa JB; October, 2009)
I was fortunate to be invited to a golf outing at Little G by the 2008 Goat Tracker of the Year. My three-hour drive from West Hartford to meet Wink in Liberty, New York seemed a waste of time, but it turned out to be a life-changing experience. (note: I can over-dramatize a ham sandwich, so calibrate your imagination accordingly)
Located on a cheap slasher film setting, Grossingers Country Club is still operating, but just barely. Decades ago, before airline travel and Florida were invented, Grossingers was a renowned borscht belt destination for New York's Jewish community. The hotel closed in 1986 and is now in total disrepair, but the golf courses remain open. The buildings on the grounds are similar in appearance to an Iraqi police station, after a visit from a backpack-toting extremist. The worst of urban blight in a rural setting. Even the clubhouse vaguely resembles an abandoned North Hartford crack house. And be advised...don't visit the bathroom under any circumstance. The parking lot is by far the more sanitary option.
Little G is a gem of a golf course. This 9-holer was originally part of the Big G's 18 holes. Somtime in the 1950's, another 9-hole course was constructed and the Little G has been vanquished to ugly step sister status ever since. Designed by A.W. Tillinghast in 1925, it measures 3,166 with a rating of 36.1 and slope of 132 (for those who take note of such details). The point being, that although Little G is short by today's standards, it's no cupcake; featuring par 3's of 180 and 220 yards, the 220-yarder being uphill. The opening and closing holes are mediocre in design; the seven in between are heaven on earth.
The fairways are enormous and the greens are well cared for, but the best feature of this course is its unspoiled state. It has been maintained in its original form. No asphalt cart paths, no ball washers, no benches, no signs directing you to the next tee. No indication that the course had even been played that week. No other person in sight, no broken tees, no cart tracks, no beer cans or trash anywhere. She is as untouched and accessible as your junior prom date.
To rate this course would be like comparing some skank sitting at a Holiday Inn bar to Ivanka Trump. From a Goat Tracker's perspective, Little G is the Sistine Chapel and Copper Hill is a scribbled picture ripped out of a coloring book. The reason no one knows about this place is because of its location. Liberty, New York may not be the end of the world, but you can see it from there. That's both the good news and the bad news. Good news: it will remain unspoiled. Bad news: it could go out of business any minute. If you have time to waste, I encourage you to make the scenic drive to Grossingers. Play the Big G, it's a wonderful layout; then play the Little G and the long drive home will be an emotional one because your life is now complete, you just climbed the Mount Everest of Goat Tracks.
Don't call it a rating, more like a token of appreciation. Little G is the first ever recipient of the elusive 
out of four GT logo rating. Didn't think it would ever happen; may never happen again.
"da Bronx Course", Van Cortlandt, a/k/a "Vanny." At long last (Summer, 2007), the highly anticipated course review to "celebrate the lore of fabled Van Cortlandt" has been submitted by the Tracker known in some social circles as Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. The Doctor's observations and reflections follow...
"A Bronx Tale, or How I Learned to Love to Ride the New York Subway System at 4:30 a.m."
To provide some context, the person who lined up our tee times lived in Riverdale, which was a fairly short walk to Vanny. As a "family guy", the result was some ungodly tee times made to avoid infringing on his family time. "Ungodly" was seasonally adjusted, but generally fell in the range of 6 to 6:45 a.m.
Making matters worse was the fact that the "temporal-minded staff" at Van Cortlandt required all golfers to arrive a half hour before tee time. Allowing for a typical hour-long subway ride from 34th to 242nd Street, plus fifteen minutes of hoofing time each to and from the subway stations, I would leave home around 4:30 a.m. Posing the obvious and fairly rhetorical question, "What good goes on in the New York subways at 4:30 a.m.?", the equally obvious answer is "None, whatsoever." I'll qualify that by saying that there is a laudable segment of the population that rides the subways at that hour for perfectly honorable reasons (e.g. those in the medical, wait staff, and security guard professions), but let me tell you, those folks are in the minority. Most who ride the subways at that hour are late-night partiers, vagrants, or criminals (any similarity to John Rocker's infamous diatribe is unintended). As an aside, just to provide the readers a better frame of reference, many a Vanny venture was preceded by "Friday Night Libations" which only added to the fogginess of waking up at 4 a.m.
While there were numerous memorable (or is that forgettable/regrettable) early morning subway trips, the most memorable was one of the times that I was running late and barely made the train. I got on as the door closed, dragging my K-mart-issue Wilsons behind me. I saw a rare stretch of empty seats to my left. While I should've instictively known better, I went for a seat. As I was sitting, I saw two inebriated fellows, presumably of Celtic descent (based on their brogues) watching my every move. I put my golf bag between my legs and sat. I no sooner planted my feet and golf bag when I felt them sliding on what was a hot, squishy, putrid-smelling pink vomit. The two Irish guys looked at me and laughed (thanks, guys). Not exactly the best foot to get off on, so to speak, with everyone in the subway car looking and laughing at me. Then there was the time that I almost got my ass kicked for wearing what two acutely intoxicated and less than amiable lads called "tube socks"...
The walk from the 242nd Street stop involved a Frogger-like street crossing (even at that hour) and a "short cut" through Van Cortland Park, which was generally safe at that hour. The clubhouse was no better or worse than most municipal golf clubhouses; sparse, but functional ambience, complete with a framed "Wall Street" poster leading up the stairs to the locker space.
As a rule, the employees of the pro shop ran things with Teutonic efficiency; woe to the group that showed up late for check-in time thirty minutes before tee time. When tee time approached, we boarded our "electric battlewagons" and took the two-minute ride to the starter box. The ride overblessed us with a picturesque view of goose shit-laden Van Cortlandt lake. Once at the starter box, the starter, of such an age that he may have carried a flag for the Grand Army, ran things with the same Germanic efficiency as the pro shop folks.
As for general observations on the course, the City put millions of dollars into the course in the late 90's making it respectable; par 70, moderate yardage, little sand, fair amount of water, and some nasty hills, with three par 5's of beastly length.
My Tracking experiences were shared with hundreds of my best golfing buddies on an average weekend day, by mid-afternoon golf carts were routinely stacked up like so many cars on the L.A. Freeway. Although I'm not a huge fan of carts, they're essential at Vanny in order to keep your round under six hours and to navigate the logistical clusterfuck between holes. Also, it's not a bad idea to have a set of wheels in case a gang fight breaks out on the 14th hole. Granted, during my golfing tenure there, gang fights had lost their cachet, but one perhaps apocryphal account of the old Vanny mentioned a gang fight taking place on one of the fairways, replete with burned out cars in the background.
Obviously this Track is all about ambience, but some observations on the holes one encounters at Vanny:
#4: Difficult par 4 with no room to the left, but playable from the next fairway to the right, which tends to be in the wheelhouse of most Trackers. By August, the fairway resembles the pock-marked surface of the moon, which of course helps those of us prone to the occasional worm burner off the tee.
#7: To the left, the Saw Mill Expressway. As a lefty with a wicked slice, I more than once wincingly awaited the wail of car brakes and the sickening screech of metal hitting metal as some unlucky soul caught my errant slice through the windshield and careened into the guardrail at an ungodly speed, but alas, it never happened (phew!); a difficult par three based on length and the gnarly weeping willow guarding the green.
#12: Toughest hole on the course in my opinion, an interminably long par 5 with water everywhere, placing a premium on course management and/or Track acumen. This hole gets progressively worse as the season progresses, reminiscent of No Man's Land on the Western Front during the First World War, albeit sans the riga-mortified horse carcasses.
#15 thru 18 are the more "goat track-esque" holes, in terms of terrain; steep uphill & downhill holes. Most notable is #16, which plays downhill, but an errant tee shot may send hand ball players in the adjacent housing scrambling for cover. As an aside, the tee box affords a view of the beauty and splendor that is Riverdale.
#19: While there is opportunity for a cold one back at the "clubhouse," the best bets to dip your beak and exchange war stories are Dorney's or Fenwicks in Riverdale.
Golfer Number Two's Favorite Track outside the tri-state area, The Terp Track, a/k/a the University of Maryland Golf Course (reviewed April, 2006). This was an unexpected gem. Situated on part of the swamp on which our Nation's capital was built, I had a chance to play this course before it reached its usual ungodly hot & humid summer conditions (with Friar Tuck as a tour guide). Maybe my expectations were too high, but I figured that a course in a premiere Division I golf conference would be more impressive. Not quite the case here. Nice job of selling the comparison to the surrounding area though..."an oasis within the Beltway"; the bar for being an oasis there doesn't need to be set too high. Once I realized I was at a Track, I settled in, found my "Track Chi" and my game improved. Maybe it was the reed-filled marshes, reminding me of other courses like the Skunk or Del Boca Vista that made me feel right at home.
If only I could transport the terp statue near the clubhouse up to the GT, in honor of the proverbial mating snapping turtles on #2, that would be awesome.
The course met a lot of the usual Track criteria (fairways, traps, etc.), but to be fair the clubhouse and facilities were impressive (aside from the restaurant/bar being named Mulligan's, which doesn't rank too high on the originality scale).
doesn't work for you, try the kick boxing studio next door. The wording on the awning at 127 Grand St. isn't legible in this pic, but it seems that KO Kickboxing has a pretty dedicated following, part of which may be patrons leaving Hoboken Golf, wanting to smack something else.
(half) a GT logo out of four, being generous. As Sherpa JB asked, "can we just give it a horn?" That pretty much sums it up. Hoboken scores high on the overpromise/underdeliver scale. Going back to the brochure, "Hoboken and Golf, two words seldom associated with one another..." and probably rightly so. We remain much bigger fans of FSGC.
Great hilly terrain, apple trees throughout, rabbits that apparently f**k like rabbits (based on their sheer number) all over the course, and a great "double green" on the back 9. How is this not a Goat Track?
Most who've played the front 9 at the Farms have been truly inspired by this unique Track Feature in the right rough on #7 and rightly so. In our case, the "inspiration" hasn't often resulted in executing good golf shots. Oh, well. We're not sure whether the Frog Rock was in the original Geoffrey Cornish course design, but if so, we're more than impressed.
out of 4 GT logos, mainly because it has great "Goat Track sensibilities" and despite how good the greens are and how much they've improved the course over the years, the "Frog Rock" tells us that this is still a fine Goat Track.
#14 was a highlight; the hole closest to the "second range," otherwise known as the state police firing range. The gunfire's a bit louder here than over the rest of the course and actually can function as a metronome. As long as the folks on the range are firing in rhythm, it can be a great way to to get the timing of your swing back in sync....address (bang!), pivot (bang!), top of the backswing (bang!), contact (kaboom!); can't say enough good things about it.
Grassmere CC, Enfield (reviewed June 2009) Other Track Features:
Grassmere's website raised some eyebrows with the GT folks by leading off with "Grassmere Country Club is the perfect location for your wedding, special event or coprorate outing!" Hold on just a minute! Somehow the cart got in front of the horse...and it wasn't even a golf cart. How could a 9-hole course possibly tout itself as a wedding/banquet facility and more importantly, why would that take top billing over golf? We were reminded of the amusement park scene in "This is Spinal Tap," and the memorable line, "I've told them a hundred times, put 'Spinal Tap' first and 'puppet show' last." Naturally, our curiosity was piqued and a trip to Enfield to play 9 at Grassmere was inevitable.
The Grassmere Review
Signage: If you can spot the sign pointing to the course from Broad Brook Road, you're home free. The thought here seems to be that since the clubhouse is visible from the road, another sign would just be redundant. We respect that. There is, however, a more useful "tee times available" sign at the entrance, to let you know when you're about to drive past the course, which makes sense. Both subtle and effective.
Parking Lot: A true stroke of genius; paved, but unstriped. Hawk's Landing could learn something from this inspired design feature.
Pro Shop: Probably didn't pay enough attention here, possibly due to the fact that the register for paying greens fees is right next to the door, so you can get in and out quickly, which makes Grassmere stand apart from other Tracks we frequent. There's not a bunch of merchandise cluttering the area either, so it lends itself to the same type of "drop step, pivot, order, and retrieve a beer" move that can only be duplicated at Airways. No wasted time. No wasted effort. Outstanding. That, combined with the most cheerful and helpful person we've run into in a pro shop in eons, made this an uncommonly pleasant experience.
Moving onto the course, the gazebo and manicured flowering shrubs behind the first tee quickly put to bed the notion that Grassmere could be considered Goat Track material using our standard criteria, but it was still unknown whether it might qualilfy based on the "other criteria" used to grant Hawk's Landing Goat Track of the Year status in 2008.
Layout: Consistent with the "no sign policy" in front of the clubhouse, there are no signs on the tee boxes either; however, they're not really necessary if you just follow the cart path around the course. This was a refreshing change from some of the navigational clusteramas we've experienced at other Tracks. The only tee box that was remotely dificult to find (in sequence) was #6, which was tucked back in a corner behind a pond and that brief search kept us on our toes. Well done.
Cement yardage markers flush to the ground on the tee boxes make carrying a scorecard to check hole distances completely optional, which works pretty well for match play. Another sight rarely seen in our travels was the matching shrubs at the 150 yard markers, easily visible from off the fairway, for those who prefer to take more challenging approach shots.
Tee Boxes & Fairways: While it shouldn't be surprising to see tee boxes that haven't been beaten to a pulp, it was. It almost defied logic as to how they could have so much grass without any sand/seed containers nearby. The most noticeable/striking feature of the fairways to the seasoned Goat Tracker was that the edges of the rough were easiliy distinguishable from the fairways. Can't stress enough the importance of contrast....and grass, for that matter. The only Track-like feature of the fairways at Grassmere is that they're very enticing for some grip & rip because they're pretty wide for the most part; so much so that they inspired two thoiughts: 1) anyone who's agoraphobic may have a problem playing here and 2) Elaine's quote from the "pothole episode" of Seinfeld, "Hey, look at this. Wide lanes. This is so luxurious. Woo..yeah," while she was on mile 114 of the Arthur Berkhardt Expressway (adopted by Kramer). The only downside of this setup is that the rough is also pretty wide, so the Tracker accustomed to looking for his drive in the next fairway may spend more time looking for it in the rough, unless he can really snap one sideways.
Greens: In terms of speed, the greens at Grassmere fall into a category you don't want to play either just before or after you've played a true Goat Track. Probably good for three strokes added to your score, based on putts that will either sail by the hole or be miserably short, depending on which speed adjustment you're trying to make. The first par-3, #5, has some serious undulations to it, which makes for some nasty pin placements, but overall the greens have the amount of break we'd expect according to the "Universal Truth of Goat Track Putting," i.e., none.
Bunkers: Didn't get to experience any first hand, mainly because there aren't many. Two greenside bunkers appeared to have been filled in on the 1st hole and there aren't any fairway traps to speak of. With any luck, we'll hit into a few on a future visit and be able to provide an update.
Water Hazards: Not much to report here, either. Mainly just a brook that runs throughought the course, similar to the one at Brooklyn CC, occasionally opening up into some marshy areas on #5 and #6. Given the limited amount of water and the maximum amount of reed-filled areas sprouting from them, two thumbs up.
Track Management Highlights:
1) #2: Airmail. There's only about 20 feet, if that, on the downslope behind the green before your shot ends up buried in poison ivy; another 15 - 20 feet before it's bouncing across the road. Best not to be long here.
2) A good mix of deciduous and evergreen trees in the rough, offering opportunities to display Track Acumen with a variety of approach angles and trajectories.
"The House on the Hill." We've seen lots of houses bordering courses, but few as strategically located
as the one between the 3rd green and 4th tee at Grassmere. Apparently the people living there are well aware of this too, since there are two golf carts parked in the driveway. Truly inspiring to see this in Enfield, as opposed to Florida or Arizona.
"Ringin' the Bell." On the dogleg right 6th hole, we appreciated the bell hanging
next to the bridge over the brook cutting across the corner (to let the group on the tee know it's ok to hit), since we haven't seen one in a while.
"Side Out." The only course we've been to with a volleyball net near the clubhouse. Pretty impressive, maybe even better than the cricket fields across from the 10th hole at Keney or the horseshoe pits near the clubhouse at the GT.

In summary, Grassmere provides a pretty good experience for both Trackers and non-Trackers alike, even though, or maybe because, it lacks true Goat Track conditions. We can't overstate how difficult a feat this is to pull off. As such, we rate the course a very respectable
out of 4 GT logos and look forward to playing it again.
D. Fairchild Wheeler Municipal Golf Course, Fairfield/Bridgeport, Connecticut, known locally as "The Wheel" (subsequently, "Fairchild Wheeler" has been dubbed "Ferris Bueller" by Sherpa JB; Black Course reviewed May, 2010).

Fairchild Wheeler/Ferris Bueller has been on the GT radar for a while. Golfer Number Two first played it back in 1992. "Hardest course I ever played, which shouldn't be confused with most difficult. You couldn't hold the greens there in July with a nerf ball." We got a heads up about "($2mil in) course improvements at The New and Improved Wheel" from a GT site reader (crwelton) in August, 2009 and have been anxiously awaiting to return to the course ever since. Our frame of reference going into the review may have been biased based on playing the course mid-summer in the early '90's, when it was a true Goat Track and was as hard as an industrial diamond...and oddly enough, located less than a mile from the company, GE, that invented industrial diamonds. Coincidence?
Pre-Tee Stuff
If you're not just walking onto the Wheel for a quick 9 late in the day and need to make a tee time, the Fairchild Wheeler site is pretty useful for booking tee times online; plus, it provides some entertainment value. Before you can access the site, you must consent to the following conditions noted in the pop-up that appears:
"Please note that jeans of any style (shorts or long pants), short shorts or mini-skirts, cut-offs, tank tops, dew rags, bathing suits or men's and boy's shirts without a collar are not permitted.
Caps should be worn with the bill facing forward.
Only soft-spike shoes or rubber soled shoes are permitted. If your golf shoes do not have soft-spikes, please see a golf shop attendant to have your spikes chaned.
Thank You
Stephen P. Roach; PGA"
Cart Valet: This was downright shocking. Wondered for a moment whether Sherpa JB would think he was playing Wampanoag. Close, but not quite.
Course Condition Minutiae
Sand: Plenty of it; not too many traps though; in fact we saw some that were "reclaimed." Just a lot of sand in the ones that are there, which makes sense, with O&G nearby to supply it. Bunkers are best defined as non-obnoxious and playable; almost an enjoyable experience, really.
Bombs Away (Layout part 1): There are some changes in elevation that may make some par 4's play shorter, but we checked the card...and did a double take. Despite being par 35, the back 9 of the Black Course is nearly as long as the original 9 at Bel Compo (Blue Fox Run, blue course), not a course for sissies. If you're not swingin' it and bringin' it, you may be in for a rough stretch on the back 9 at Ferris Bueller, since 5 of the 6 par 4's clock in at over 400 yards (correction, one is a mere 395).
Layout, continued: Just to refresh our memories that we were playing at a muni, we got a "Fore!" holler when we were on the 8th tee, from the 200+ yard, elevated, par-3 7th tee box. Not too surprising that errant shots would be fired from there. Relieved that there were far fewer shots fired at us on the other holes that would cause one to reflexively protect one's noggin and nutsack than at the Brennan Course in Stamford (as a Fairfield County frame of reference) or other "compact" munis. With all the blind shots on the Black Course (and there are many), one might think there would be an ambulance permanently on call at Ferris Bueller, but no.
Hazards: Based on the Tracks we're used to playing, we're accustomed to seeing reed-filled marshes, swamps,
overgrown brooks, etc, but Ferris Bueller puts a different spin on it, probably a Fairfield County/Gold Coast thing. These areas are all marked as "conservation easements" per the Town of Fairfield. Nice job of putting frosting on that piece of wood and calling it a cake. As crwelton noted, "conservation easement = free lift." We'll have to keep that in mind on the next trip.
As Sherpa JB noted, the Ferris Bueller course definitely has an "inner Track" screaming to get out. Keeping with the John Hughes theme/analogy, we're reminded of the Judd Nelson (Bender) "inner fat chick" line to Molly Ringwald (Claire) in "The Breakfast Club." The rough at Ferris Bueller has a Keney-like consistency to it (i.e. sparse and hardpan) and some of the tee boxes have the uneven footing we look for at a good Goat Track. Despite that, until we play this course in "hardpan season," we're hard-pressed to truly consider it Goat Track material. The greens were in far too good condition, to the point where there may have been too much commentary regarding "reading the break," which suggests that some in our group were convinced they weren't playing at a Goat Track or muni...or even a public couse, which is high praise in itself.
In Summary, it was great to revisit Fairchild Wheeler for the first time in a long time and see for ourselves what the New and Improved Wheel was all about. Fairchild Wheeler seems to be Fairfield County's counterpart to the Hartford County Urban Goat Tracks, Keney and Goodwin, just with better conditions and less crack, which is fine by us.
Ferris Bueller scores very high on the "value proposition" scale (at least from Mon. - Fri.) and the conditions and course design were better than we expected (Golfer Number Two was a little fuzzy on course design based on his last trip there, go figure). In a backhanded compliment/ringing endorsement, the 2008 Goat Tracker of the Year, Wink, offered," If things don't pan out elsewhere, I'll definitely come back here." Translation: "This was pretty darned good; right course, right place, right price." Good pace of play, challenging holes, great value; it somehow defies many GT grading criteria, especially at a muni, so we're rating the Ferris Bueller Black Course
out of 4 GT logos.
Bunkers: Inviting. Unfortunately none were fully explored during this round, but they seemed to have some selling points:
Con:
General: "Rule #1" as posted on the etiquette/course rules sign outside the pro shop, "no five-somes." Really?!? This flies in the face of the lax enforcement that we look for, appreciate, and occasionally take for granted at a Track and is generally a dealbreaker. On the other hand, we were afforded the opportunity by the "pro shop powers that be" to play two balls around the course without retribution; still, it doesn't seem to be enough to overcome "Rule #1."
Condo City: Rolling Greens sets up kind of like a cross between Stashu and Minnechaug. Stashu is within a 7-iron of multiple condo and apartment complexes; Minnechaug is ensconsed by a housing subdivision; Rolling Greens combines the two by having multiple condo/apartment complexes running through it, with a housing subdivision thrown in on the 6th ... and that just doesn't provide a good "Goat Tracking feel" at all.
As noted in our "parking lot reviews" of other Tracks played in 2008, we should've known that passing several apartment/condo complexes as we turned left across a four-lane divided road to get to the course would not bode well.
Navigation: not that we were disappointed that we didn't wind up at the wrong tee box during the round, but we were fully prepared based on the heads up from the pro shop. In the end we'd have to say that Rolling Greens wasn't nearly as confusing as advertised.
Slow, slower, slowest: Greens this slow probably shouldn't be his big. We were also disappointed that, given their "speed," the greens at Rolling Greens didn't have any of the "visual entertainment" that we Goat Trackers enjoy while putting on slow greens, such as crabgrass, no grass or, most notably, the mushrooms (fungus anong us) as at The Tradtion GC in Windsor. Also, we came to think that "Rolling Greens" may be a misnomer; possibly "Grind to a Halt Greens" or "Bump and Run on the Greens" would've been more appropriate.
6th tee box: We as Goat Trackers appreciate funky layouts, but this one seemed to be just ridiculous; a tee box pointing to someones's back yard (so far, so good), but a landing zone that left one on a severe downhill lie unless within 70 yards of the green, (not so good). Looking back.......a tee box so elevated that it couldn't be seen from the landing area. In fairness, it just takes a well-placed 5-iron off the tee to have a reasonable shot at par, but it was still kind of annoying.
In summary, while it was good to play another Geoffrey Cornish course, and Rolling Greens is a decent course at a less than obnoxious price, it's a "tweener" and probably doesn't rank that highly compared to other "tweeners" we've reviewed on the GT site.
Stanley GC (a/k/a "Stashu" [it's a Polish thing], located in Hard Hittin' New Britain)
We've played Stashu a handful of times over the past decade, just often enough to see the slow and continuous erosion of it's old school Track Cred and Track Charm.
Based on our 4/23/09 review of the White Course, Stanley has lost its way and its standing as a preferred Track in the view of Goat-Track.com. As a result, it has been removed (demoted) from the CT GT (Connecticut Goat Tracks) page and placed in the "wannabe/usedtobe-CT" group on the More Tracks page. Some Goat Trackers, notably Rabbit Ears, argue that Stashu doesn't even deserve a spot on Goat-Track.com at all, since it falls into a category generally not reviewed on this site. Benchmark courses in that group include Tunxis and Rockledge, both of which are decent, but score too high on the b.s. meter for us to waste time with here. Since we originally reviewed Stanley when it still had some Track Cred, we're grandfathering it in.
The City of New Britain may be going straight down the crapper with an occasional courtesy flush, but Stanley, stragegically located just off I-84 and Route 9, seems to have a different agenda. At some point, the end result of its "vast improvements" will probably include alienating a sizeable chunk of its dedicated base, while at the same time disappointing many of the newcomers it tries to draw, in a Clooney-esque "cloud of smug."
There was bad mojo afoot prior to our trek to Stashu. A puff piece placed in a made-up golf publication never bodes well for the course being fluffed.
We won't waste valuable web page space or reader interest here, but feel free to read about the nonsense that irked us about Stanley from the get go here.
Onto the review of the White Course at Stanley
This was our first time playing the course in a couple of years and we were glad that we weren't automatically sent out to the Blue Course, where the 9-holers usually get exiled (much like the Red Course at Tunxis, which drew rave reviews from GT Duke [not posted on the site, don't bother looking]). With a loudspeaker attached to the top of the starter's shack, it's safe to assume that Stanley doesn't mess around when it comes to corralling the lemmings waiting to tee off.
General Course Conditions: Pretty much free of dandelions and other "non-standard vegetation" that we'd expect to see this time of year. Bravo. We knew from the well-maintained cart barn and the manicured shrubs between the pro shop and the first tee on the red course, that Stanley puts far more emphasis on outward appearances than it used to.
Greens: Since Friar Tuck and Golfer Number Two got paired up with a couple of folks more accustomed to playing Stanley, it was good to hear one of them utter Mel's rant from the GT Open (4/16/09), "How can you figure out where the putt's going to go out of those craters?" How, indeed. Once Friar Tuck and Golfer Number Two pointed out to our newfound friends that Stanley's greens were like glass compared to those at Copper Hill, the whining stopped. On the other hand, Friar Tuck and Golfer Number Two both heard some nonsensical comments about "reading the break" from our tour guides, nodded in recognition of their ignorance of "the universal truth," i.e., "there is no break on a green at a public course" and watched with little surprise as their putts missed wide left and right, with the exception of a "blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while" birdie putt from 35 feet or so on #7.
The "lowlands" on the 4th and 5th are classically mushy, with skunk cabbage flourishing in the left o.b. area on #5. Based on prior experience, these are interesting holes to play in a scramble event, especially if you're playing with some similarly untalentad folks. (pictured at left, encouragement to overthink one's tee shot)
Navigational Clusterama: The upside of getting paired up on the first tee at Stanley, if there is one, is that it greatly improves your chances of making it off the course by dusk without relying on the group ahead of you to leave a trail of empty beer cans to lead you back.

Once you move on from the fourth hole on either the Blue or White course (similar to working through the mixmaster in Waterbury or the I-84/I-91 interchange in Hartford), you may just hallucinate and see Rod Serling because you've entered the Twilight Zone. Foursomes have gotten lost here during charity tournaments. Enough said.
Kudos for the effort, but if the ball washers need to be color-coded (pictured above right) to let you know which 9 you're on, something may have gone awry on the layout.
Player Assistant Cart: An unfortunate misnomer. When this cart cruised up to the 6th tee, our curiosity was piqued; it was the "Player Assistant Cart" after all. Was it there to assist players in finding errant drives, possibly offer swing tips, or otherwise assist us with lowering our scores? Not so much. A ranger by any other name is still a ranger and still about as useless as tits on a bull.
19th: It couldn't have been made more apparent that we were light years away from the Schlitz bar bottle laden golden age of Stanley's historic 19th hole than when we sa
w...............the hostess station...and eventually the hostess. We have no problem with hostesses (in bar terms, a distant relative of the BCC), but once you've arrived at the point where you need to be seated in Stanley's clubhouse (which Goat Trackers used to be big fans of), the train has left the tracks, Elvis has left the building, i.e., it's pretty much over. This may have been the straw that broke the Goat's back.
What we took away from the Stashu Experience was a greater appreciation of Tracks that either have gone or have tried to go upscale, but still remain fun to play, such as (2008 Goat Track of the Year) Hawk's Landing and Simsbury Farms. (To that end, the good karma that "The Farms" has garnered with us over the last few years will be rewarded with an official review on the GT site this year. We're sure they'll be most appreciative.)
The Stanley Experience was best summed up by first-time visitor Friar Tuck, who said "If I don't come back here for ten years, I'm not going to lose any sleep over it."
We rate the Stanley Experience
GT logos out of 4. Not too long ago, it earned a much higher GT rating.
At first glance, Eagle Sticks doesn't seem to have much "Track cred", primarily due to the saccharinely sweet, flowery prose on the home page, which would nauseate most Trackers, as well as course conditions that are unlike anything to which we're accustomed (i.e., far better maintained). That said, there are two aspects that have earned this course a spot here: 1) a great twilight special. Not a big fan of the POP (pay one price) greens fees as a matter of principle, but $25 at a top 100 public course is a great value and a lot better than one could hope for at a similar local course, Richter Public; 2) by their own admission, EagleSticks is in the middle of nowhere, which lends it a certain Track credibility.
"Icing that Putt - Literally" (WSJ 2/7/09, link contains podcast interview) True winter golf at its finest; requiring a whole new level of Track Acumen. There are also some interesting bits about "golf in Greenland" and "virtual golf." Truly worth a read.
"The Ultimate North-South Divide: Fore! Welcome to the World's Most Dangerous Golf Course." (The Independent [UK], orig. published 4/4/07, added to GT 1/09) For those undaunted by the rifle range adjacent to the 14th at Tower Ridge, this "course" in the Korean DMZ may be more to your liking (course photo).
"The Art of Gamesmanship: how golf allows opponents to get under your skin, and stay there." (WSJ, 1/10/09) This article provides food for thought for the Tracker and ties into question #9 on the GT survey. As an example of gamesmanship, the article references this clip of Lee Trevino at the 1971 US Open playoff with Jack Nicklaus, and cites two authoritative works on the subject. We finally (April, 2010) reviewed one of them, "How to Win at Golf Without Actually Playing Well" by Jon Winokur, and have posted our review in the Books reviewed section below.
"18 Holes in 45 Minutes." (WSJ,11/8/08) This article provides a look at the world of speed golf with an interview and a round with the world record holder, Christopher Smith; an interesting read with some useful pointers for aspiring GT Sherpas.
"Golf's Crash Course in Humility." (WSJ, 10/18/08). This article starts off with a good premise, tracing the "Goat Tracker Movement" and "anti-Tracker Movement" (our words, not theirs) through history, using former presidents, the Great Depression, and the PGA Tour to provide some context. It starts to meander halfway through, like an approach shot into the woods following a great drive, but is still a good, informative read. At a minimum, it's worth a look to see the pic of Craig Stadler's predecessor, President Taft, taking a hack.
"Pedigree Links." This article from the 6/27/08 edition of the "Shore View" newspaper provides some background on the renowned Fenwick course. Thanks go to Rabbit Ears for passing it along. Note: the article is a little more "homespun" than most content on the GT site and the combination of features that both add to and detract from Fenwick's "Track cred" are most intriguing.
"Brown Grass, Icy Air - Heaven." (WSJ, 1/12/08) A good article about Tracking at the oldest public course in the U.S., Van Cortlandt. For more on "Vanny," check this review from an experienced Tracker on the More Tracks page.
This article ties a lot of the elements of the GT concept together, with a golf industry/PGA award linking Skungamaug to my all-time favorite Track, Canton Public, and its long-time club pro, Walt Lowell. It may be considered heresy in some GT circles, but I'd give Canton a slight edge over the Copper Hill on most GT criteria (exception being no BCC); unfortunately now that it's been transformed into "The Shoppes at Farmington Valley", we can't really make any more comparisons. ("Can I reach the Panera Bread from Talbot's with a 9-iron, or do I need to 'club up' to an 8?" Very sad.)
Magazines
We're going to spend a couple of months reviewing GofingMagazine.net because a) they spiffed us at the golf show and b) Golf Digest isn't doing us any good, so why not look at something new?
"How to Win at Golf Without Actually Playing Well," by Jon Winokur. If you've pretty much given up on improving your game through sound mechanics, this may be the book for you (reviewed April, 2010). The nearly in-depth GT review.
"Who's Your Caddy?: Looping for the Great, Near Great, and Reprobates of Golf," by Rick Reilly (formerly of Sports Illustrated, now with ESPN). Synopsis: Mr. Reilly recounts his experiences caddying rounds for Tommy Aaron, John Daly, Jack Nicklaus, Bob Newhart, Dewey Tomko, Donald Trump and others. Funniest chapters are probably those on Daly and Tomko.
"Maybe It Should Have Been a Three Iron: My Year as a Caddy for the World's 438th Best Golfer," by Lawrence Donegan. The book's not quite as funny as "Who's Your Caddy" (British humour, go figure), but is a pretty entertaining and quick read. The premise is similar to Reilly's, but the book's a little more in depth. A British writer offers to spend a year caddying for a journeyman player, Ross Drummond, who's near the bottom of the European Tour money list. The book alternates between chronicling the trials & travails of a player barely scraping by on tour and the caddies' gypsy sub-culture.
"How to Really Stink at Golf, " by Jeff Foxworthy (2008). This was reviewed mainly because it seemed like a plausible premise with some "Goat Tracking sensibilities." On the other hand, it also seemed like a contrived attempt to shamelessly market something lame for Fathers' Day. The latter is closer to the truth, so this isn't recommended Tracker reading as much as a review and a "caveat emptor" warning.
That said, this isn't a book so much as it is a collection of 32 jokes stretched out with enough illustrations to make it look like a book by its cover (cliché, but true, go figure). The good thing is that if you bring it with you to the tee box on your weekday league night, you can probably read it cover to cover while waiting to tee off. Of course if you do that, everyone will think you're a tool; the point is that it's a quick read.
Although the bar wasn't set too high after reading a couple of reviews on Amazon, I was hoping to find some nuggets and came up with four, the most quotable of which may be, "Somewhere in hell, there's a golf course where every shot is 55 yards from the hole." Unfortunately, that's about as good as it gets. If you've got 20 minutes to kill and can have your kid retrieve the book from the library for you (saving you the trip), you won't be investing too much time or money.
Other Sites that may be of Interest (some Tracking-related, some...not so much)
Golf Blogs
Although the N. Tha Bunker blog link on golf buzz has mysteriously disappeared, we're on the scent. It's always helpful to know about other Goat Tracks outside Connecticut and our people are in the field to scout the Muni Tracks in Atlanta, like it or not. The Candler Park course, referred to as "The Goat Track" by an insider, is said to be the original executive course of Coca-Cola founder Asa Candler.
nothreeputts: There's a pretty entertaining and wide range of golf topics covered here, somewhat more polished than what can be found on the GT site.
pasturegolf: Some have commented that this site has certain "Goat Track sensibilities:" no argument here. The courses featured here are more rural and Track-like than the mainly suburban courses in the local GT group, plus some other good stuff from a perspective that any Goat Tracker can appreciate.
Golf "social networking" sites...Stracka.com is listed on the home page and has been the preferred site; however, they've dropped some features we liked and now it's not much more than a version of facebook where you can update your handicap (same goes for the newer sister site GolfQ.com). The GT site is also linked to The Golf Space, My Space, and golf-finder.net, which has more of an international spin. Vaya con dios.
Other Stuff
Marseliworld.com: The unofficial Keneyriffic index that used to be MarseliWorld has been replaced by the Cove Index (recreation conditions in Stamford/Fairfield County) and there's an eclectic mix of other stuff too (if you're curious about sailing or the lost art of unicycling, among other things). Dave's a guy with varied interests and it's worth an occasional click or two to see what's going on in "MarseliWorld".
Shutuptimmccarver.com: The name says it all. If you watch enough baseball on FOX, you're not surprised that this site exists, Yankees fan or not. After this site was submitted, I asked myself, "self, Joe Buck's just as big a jackass as McCarver (if not bigger), where's the shutupjoebuck site?" Where indeed......apparently there are lot of like-minded folks out there on this one and I've scratched the surface by finding two sites, still hoping to find the proverbial great white whale of anti-Joe Buck websites; surely it's out there somewhere. If anyone thinks he's found it or has a personal favorite please email it to goattracker@yahoo.com.