A recap/update of the GT Minor Events of 2008...
6/25/08. The Urban Goat Track Open
On an absolutely Keneyriffic late afternoon, the 3rd annual Urban Goat Track Open was held at the nearly inimitable Keney Public Golf Course. There was some concern when one of the Trackers was late because he had received bad directions (exit 35, wtf?), but fortunately Matt just arrived a bit late and we didn't have to watch the 11:00 news to see what happened to him.
The field for the second GT Minor Event of 2008 included one Keney newbie and two seasoned Trackers not familiar with all that is a "Goat Track Minor Event," which made for an interesting round.
Format: With seven participants, this event had a certain "Chinese fire drill" aspect to it, starting with not knowing which 9 to play. The rangers/ambassadors on the 1st and 10th tees passed us back and forth like a joint at one of the parties on the other side of the park. We ultimately teed off as a 7-some on the back 9 (a first for this event), conceding that we may have to break into two groups to keep "the man" off our ass. The match was scored on a team best ball format, Institute Trackers vs. non-Institute Trackers.
Kickers: Reaching back to a GT Minor staple, "Best Shot off a Tree" was in play as well as "Most Ridiculous Save (on a par 3)," both of which reflect the kind of Track Acumen that we look for in a Minor Event. Sherpa Jeff started the round off with a drive off a tree that a squirrel chased back onto the the fairway. While impressive, it wasn't Jeff's best work and didn't really "wow" the judges and none of the other shots that careened off trees (and there were many) were all that noteworthy. In hindsight "Best Save" was a bad call because we all apparently left our ability to score in the parking lot. "Best Use of Course Features" wasn't in play as a kicker, but Judy probably did more work on local bridges during this round than the DOT has in the last six months.
The Round: Mel gets bonus points for his clutch performance, closing out the team best ball match with a big putt and the low score on 15 and then ducking out to meet "other obligations" immediately afterwards. "Walking off into the sunset" both literally and figuratively; this was a classic Goat Tracking moment.
We did play the last six holes as a 7-some (or 6-some after Mel left), which was unprecedented on this Track, as far as we know, and was a bit of an adjustment for those not accustomed to this aspect of a Minor Event. We're glad we could broaden their horizons a bit in this regard.
Track Conditions: Dave and I noted that some of the tee boxes "firmed up" amazingly quickly, following the deluge of rain on Monday, so they were closer to peak midseason form than we expected and there were a few tees broken pegging up to back that up. Greens were about what was expected speed-wise; however, there were at least three comments from Trackers who shall remain nameless referring to how how they didn't play the break properly. Truly mindboggling, if not mindnumbing.
The second Minor came to something of a fitting end, with the irrigation kicking in within 10 seconds of the last putt being made on 18, flushing us from the course and not allowing anyone to dwell on on our less than stellar play anywhere other than the Great Room or the parking lot. Kudos. While this Minor Event had a different feel to it than some of our other adventures, it was enjoyed by all and we're looking forward to the next one.
Goat Tracker of the Year Award presentation: We did this on the fly, on the 11th tee box while we were waiting to hit, which was good Tracker form, not being too ceremonial and whatnot. Matt was most gracious in accepting the award, knowing that his efforts had been acknowledged and that they had been an inspiration to all other Goat Trackers, as he cited some of the memorable Goat Tracking moments that earned him this award. On the other hand, Sherpa Jeff, as former Tracker of the Year, noted (on the gren at #16, we think) and we'll paraphrase, "Is he clearing stuff out of his putting line? Is it possible that this whole thing went to his head? Whatever happened to having some Goat Tracking standards?" While we took a picture of the award presentation, the person with the camera was too much of a moron to clear the old pictures out of memory and we don't have a picture to post here (unfortunately) other than a picture of the trophy itself taken a couple of months ago. We deeply apologize to the Goat Tracking public and hope they ask the proverbial question, "does anything say 'golf expertise' quite like a sailing trophy?"
4/23/08. Minor Event #1, The Mouth Closed Open (held at The Goat Track a/k/a Copper Hill) report filed by Sherpa JB
Hacking and Tracking at 5:25 sharp, this group of seven Goat Trackers was poised for action at the #1 tee on this warm, sunny evening. Sure, we didn't get out as early in the Tracking season as we had hoped, but here we were, ready to hammer the ball. New Trackers included Judy, Stephanie, and Paul. Each was a pleasant addition to the GT family. Stalwarts Matt, Sherpa Jeff, Mel, and I rounded out this golf-challenged group. Thanks to all for their attendance, to Lou for his presence on the first tee as honorary starter, and to the defending Goat Tracker of the Year, Sherpa Jeff, for his inspirational speech before the first drive.
Atmosphere: Gnats and other species of bugs swarmed our group with such intensity that we named this Minor the "Mouth Closed Open." These little black fiends kamikazed into our mouths, noses and ears in a futile attempt to interrupt our concentration. Fortunately, the bugs were overmatched by our superior intellect as we closed our mouths and kept swatting as we finished up strong, then headed to the bar for refreshments. Quit golf because of a few million annoying bugs? Not us, we paid our $$and were committed to taking our 50 - 70 swings over 9 glorious holes. We went off as a 7-some, which didn't raise an eyebrow from the pro shop staff. We love that the GT has an inattentive staff and a haphazard attitude toward golf etiquette.
Notables: Stephanie pounded the ball off the tees and demonstrated the true Tracker spirit by maintaining a positive attitude while experiencing the ponderous swarm of gnats. Unfamiliar with Sherpa Jeff's "directional impairment", she attempted to assist by interrupting Jeff as he "lined up" facing directly towards the tree line to the right of the #6 tee. Perplexed by anyone offering to help him, Jeff stopped his backswing, uttered contemptuous phrases, reset himself and hit his best shot of the evening. Thanks, Stephanie!
Track Conditions: The greens at the GT are most accurately described as awful. Since it's rare to see greens in such poor condition in late April, credit goes to the maintenance staff at the GT for this accomplishment. The tee boxes were as we like them, bare with broken tees scattered everywhere, another indication of top-notch maintenance. Thick pond scum was not evident as balls hit into the water on #5 sank and disappeared, rather than sitting on top and turning green. We will have to adapt.
A Recap of the four GT Minor Events of 2007...
9/20. The Fourth Minor (doesn't need a name, but is known as the GT Championship) at Airways GC. This event generated about as much interest as the FedEx Cup Playoffs, unfortunately, but those who did participate enjoyed "a Tracking day that was too good to pass up" as Matt noted. We played the back 9 at Airways, which meant we had no shot at duplicating the "Funnel Hole" experience at Minor 3.5 in 2006 on the front 9 (as noted in the 2006 Minor Notes below), but there were enough other notable aspects during the round to offset that. Most noteworthy:
Best shot off a tree has now become a staple of every GT Minor event. Curt made a couple of valiant Barthman-esque efforts and takes that honor for the last minor with a great ricochet into the fairway.
To paraphrase a Star Wars line, "Use the rough, Luke." A well-placed worm-burner in the rough at Airways would roll forever and given the "track acumen" in our group, we took full advantage of that, with the exception of the first hole, when we all sent screamers over the brook behind the green. "Nice grouping," as they say in the world of darts.
Most comical course feature: the "no fishing, no swimming, no diving" sign in front of the brook on #16. Based on experience, I don't think that the BCC comes around often enough for any of those options to become viable (i.e., no one would be impaired enough to dive into 6 inches of water), but I could be wrong.
Most puzzling course feature: the tethered beer kegs in the pond on #18. I'd still like some closure on this one. None of us could figure it out. Is it a fountain? Enquiring Trackers want to know.
8/8. The "East Hartford British Experience": We didn't "cross the pond" for this Minor, but we did trek across the Connecticut River, which was about as good a symbolic gesture as we could manage. Predictably enough, attendance was relatively low for this event for various reasons (trouble clearing customs, travel agent screwed up, dog ate my homework, etc.), but quantity was more than offset by quality regarding the field for this Minor. Of course score, although it was kept, was completely irrelevant, which left us more time to focus on the truly important aspects of both this Track and this truly monumental event, the first Minor held at EHGC. Some observations regarding both, recapping this historic occasion:
- Standings for "Tracker of the Year" and "GT Rookie of the Year"
- Obviously, the turnout did not help the chances of several early contenders for "Tracker of the Year", but it's still too early to take them completely out of contention prior to the Fourth Minor. There are currently rumors circulating that question their dedication to the Minors, which of course is an important consideration to the voters.
- The running for "GT Rookie of the Year", which has basically been a one-person contest thus far, has been opened up in the eyes of the voters. Despite there being an early frontrunner, this award is far from a lock.
- "Karma, ain't it a bitch"
- There was another rumor floating that the "2006 Tracker of the Year" would be suspended for one Minor for not keeping score at the UGTO, no matter how meaningless that task may seem to be (see notes on the faux pas in the UGTO notes below). There was no need to enforce a suspension; apparently the Tracking gods took care of that, rendering him injured and unable to participate, unfortunately. We all noted that Tracking karma is not something to be taken lightly.
- There was another rumor floating that the "2006 Tracker of the Year" would be suspended for one Minor for not keeping score at the UGTO, no matter how meaningless that task may seem to be (see notes on the faux pas in the UGTO notes below). There was no need to enforce a suspension; apparently the Tracking gods took care of that, rendering him injured and unable to participate, unfortunately. We all noted that Tracking karma is not something to be taken lightly.
- Noteworthy holes on the Track (we played the back 9, so this was new [browned out] turf for us all)
- #13, paraphrasing Caddyshack, "We have a marsh and a ravine. The ravine would be good for you." A great, marshy, schmeggy pond surrounded by cattails that reminded me of the Terp Track. What a cluster of a hole with trees & a ravine (overflow brook) on the right and the pond on the left corner. This is where Matt really started to pay homage to the anti-Lorax, a/k/a the absent and injured Barthman, with his ability to find every tree with his errant shots (despite Matt's efforts, Sherpa JB won "best shot off a tree" by gaining a solid 60 yards on his drive on 16 and landing it in the fairway). Lessons learned by the big hitters on this hole, don't look at the fringes of your skirt and try to finesse the hole by teeing off with an iron, it won't work. Take out the big lumber, aim for the water, grip it, and rip it.
- #14 "It's like grass seed on steroids"; that's what we saw on this fairway; closely cropped grass with a patch of hypergrowing, foot-high witchgrass surrounding the 217-to the green sprinkler head; something that only the most seasoned of Trackers could appreciate.
- # 16 "UGA" as in "uga, uga, uga". Sherpa JB, in his scorekeeping duties, thought it wise to make this note on the card to pre-emptively exorcise any demons that could be potentially summoned by recording 3 double bogey 6's on the card. This is part of why he's a High Sherpa.
- The "Triple Tee Box". Paraphrasing a Sammy Haggar song title (from his pre-Van Haggar solo work), "One, Two Three Tee Box." After Sherpa JB posed the question, none of us could recall playing a course that had 3 tee boxes (8, 14, 16) lined up like a driving range (not all pointing in the same direction, fortunately). As JB noted prior to this Minor, "this event has real potential for disaster." We now know where that potential disaster lies.
- #18 "The Gallery", closest I'll ever come to feeling like I'm participating in a PGA event. EHGC has a great porch/beer garden adjacent to the 19th that overlooks the 18th green. It reminded me of 18 at TPC River Highlands and to a lesser extent the Brennan course in Stamford, with the crowd applauding and or/ridiculing incoming groups while we were on 16. Oddly enough, when we all hit the green in regulation on 18, the crowd was silent, possibly stunned silent, but we all doffed our caps on our way off the green anyway.
6/14. The UGTO (Urban Goat Track Open): being at Keney on Flag Day just added an extra something special to this event. While we had two participants withdraw very late due to "injury", it did not dampen the spirit of this event for the others who found their way to the UGT (a respectable turnout of 10). Sherpa JB was kind enough to offer some thoughts on the UGTO...
"The greens fees could've been $20 and I would have been happy to pay it, just to see RT standing on the 4th tee box at Keney, a veritable galaxy away from his "comfort zone". We had a well-attended event on a spectacular early evening on a historic course, making this Minor a truly enjoyable experience".
Onto the minutiae...
First & Least, the scores...we went with a format of low gross and individual best ball. If there were a best ball winner, he'd match cards with the low gross winner to determine who won the UGTO. Sherpa JB took low gross with a 43 and no one could separate from the field on individual best ball; four tied with one best ball (Matt, Rich, Glenn & Lou). As we all know, score is secondary to the other accomplishments on the Track during a Minor.
"Kickers": We opted to go with "furthest from the green" (on a par 3) and "best shot off a tree". Initially, some consideration was given to "most trees hit during the loop", but after further reflection (see comments on 2006 Minor 3.5 further down on this page) we figured that Jeff would have that locked up before he took his clubs out of the trunk.
Furthest from the green: Goes to Curtis for his effort, or lack thereof, on #3, just clearing the junk in front of the elevated tee box. Runner up, Matt (who initially lobbied for this distinction on his own behalf) for his airmailed shot on #6, which required some serious "Track acumen" to get onto the green.
Best shot off a tree: it looked like Sherpa JB had this wrapped up with his drive on #2, which had a projected flight path through someone's kitchen window, but it hit a tree and bounced nicely into position for his second shot. It wasn't until we hit #9, when Mel showed a level of "track acumen" that makes other Trackers jealous, that JB lost his spot for this distinction. In our foursome, three of us hit into the trees in front of the cart barn. With his expertise, Mel deftly used one tree to slow down his shot and redirect it to a second tree that guided his ball to the apron in front of the green. Truly masterful and inspiring.
Still more minutiae...
Rookie of the Year update: Curtis did nothing to hinder his dogged pursuit of the GT Rookie of the Year Award and seems to be excited about his prospects in what appears to be a one-man race.
Scorekeeping, or "how the mighty have fallen": Still trying to figure out why Jeff decided not to keep score; this is a real head scratcher. Not that any of us really give a shit about the score; we can always shred or burn the scorecards afterwards as appropriate, but this was something that none of us would've expected from the reigning 2006 Tracker of the Year. More importantly, it set a bad expample for other new Trackers in his group, one being his own son! I'm truly baffled by this turn of events. Hopefully, he takes some time to think about what that girls' basketball trophy sitting in his office (that he was presented in recognition of his Tracker of the Year accomplishments) really symbolizes.
Club Selection: On the flip side of the scorekeeping debacle, the 2006 Tracker of the Year gets some points for helping Matt replace the disintegrated woods in his bag for a total cost of $5, courtesy of a church rummage sale and a garbage can (only a non-Tracker throws clubs away and Simsbury is full of them).
5/11. The GT Open, the first one's fianally in the books!
As always, the first Minor at the GT was a momentous occasion, marking the official start of the 2007 Tracking season. JB did an excellent and underappreciated job as Event Coordinator. The weather cooperated and it was a truly spectacular event (not that crappy weather would've made it any less spectacular, quite the contrary). Some of the highlights from the 2007 GT Open:
1) The 2006 Tracker of the Year award ceremony: An emotional event for all involved. At the brief award presentation, JB eloquently summed it all up by saying, "nothing says 'golf expertise' like a girls basketball trophy." 
[Presentation of the 2006 Goat Tracker of the Year award: left to right: Matt (runner-up), Lou (presenter), and Jeff (proud recipient of the award; kind of reminiscent of another "major award" (video clip)]
2) Rookie call-ups: there were two call-ups, one took full advantage, the other is left with a chance for redemption at the 2nd Minor and has some serious ground to cover as far as the voting goes for "Track Rookie of the Year". Curt's tenacity and overall "Track acumen" were a surprise to all of us and he appears to be on the "Fast Track" to Tracker success. The lies that he was willing to play from were exemplary of everything we aspire to; hitting from the woods, ditches; name the hazard and he'll hit from it.
3) Turtle mating season: Matt is the unofficial "Natural Historian" as it pertains to "reptilian copulative activity" at the pond on #2 at the Goat Track and his observation that there was some kind of "turtle orgy" going on was just the kind of observation that we as Trackers appreciate. Spring is definitely in the air!
4) The first Minor was later than anticipated, but so what? Last year's first Minor was about three weeks earlier, but as noted by Sherpa JB, it's all about "contemplation before execution" or something like that.
A recap of the 2006 Minor events...
Minor 3.5 at the Landing Strip aka Airways
(logged 9/28/06)
While this outing wasn't hyped as a Minor and was only a foursome, there were enough noteworthy aspects of this Track excursion to give it a place on this page. With a foursome steeped in Track tradition (Matt, Jeff, Jim, Lou), they covered all bases when it came to recognizing what made this an outstanding round. This event was originally scheduled for the GT, but due to a shotgun tournament there (can't quite wrap my mind around that one) we had to go to plan B.
Starting with some of the usual Track criteria that get scrutinized:
Tee Boxes: kind of like being an oil wildcatter in Oklahoma, you needed to be either very luck or very skilled to find the right spot to drill, i.e. where you weren't going to break a few tees trying to get a peg in the ground.. Also noted, the two-toned crabgrass, kind of like that brunette everyone knows who has dark roots & blond tips.
Greens: unexpectedly fast. It took a few holes to figure out that it was because they were hardpan. Jim still tries to refute rule #1 re. putting on a public course; once he gets past that, he'll be better off.
Notable events of the day...
Best goofy looking shot: Jeff was the anti-Lorax, beating the living shit out of nearly every tree out there, or so it seemed, so picking one of his masterful masse shots from such a long list was too difficult.
The Funnel Hole: To provide the backdrop, #6 at Airways is a 302 yard par 4 with a tree cutting into the fairway on the right. Matt's drive seemed to be Norwood (wide right), but near the cart path. No one saw it land. As we approached our drives, we were close enough to see Matt's drive on the green! We could find no explanation other than the fact that he seemed to hit what is now referred to as "the funnel", an upward sloping apron on the right edge that will funnel your shot into the green, defying both logic and physics. The only (weak) parallel I can draw is that of a miniature golf hole where you putt to the right and your ball goes through a pipe right to the hole. To test the "funnel theory", Lou shanked a wedge into the funnel...it kicked left when it should've been between trees on the right and left him with a puncher's chance at birdie. Jeff, with his most masterful, but unconfirmed shot off a tree behind the green was also in play. Only Jim, who actually hit a textbook approach shot missed the green. Go figure. Matt drained his putt for eagle and none of us had more than bogey, which is pretty rare. The "funnel hole" has officially earned a place in Track lore. (the status of "the Funnel Hole" was reaffirmed in Track lore at the first Minor of 2007, when its mysterious properties were further reflected upon by all who experienced, yet cannot explain it)
Third Minor (9/7/06 at the GT, replacing the event tentatively scheduled at Airways)
(logged 9/8/06, courtesy of Event Coordinator/Sherpa JB...and an excellent, insightful report at that, providing all the pertinent details)
Well, the conditions were perfect for last night's Tracking. Great group of guys (6) and a nice little top on the BCC. The evening's highlight was Jeff chopping out of the greenside bunker on #3. After 2 or 3 hacks, Jeff finally connects and the ball jumps up with backward spin. Jeff expertly catches the ball with his left hand and, in one motion, flips it on the green. Best "shot" of the night. Jeff topped off that accomplishment by dropping his pants and mooning us while we were waiting on the tee. Nice touch. This is the type of golf behavior that we are looking for. His actions on #3 truly define Jeff as an expert Tracker.
Another highlight was Matt hitting his approach shot on #9 into the golf cart corral. The ball hit the gravel, smashed into the side of the beer cart, and rattled around in the fenced area. Matt, being the golfing purist that he is, asked for a ruling. I saw no OB stakes and permitted a free drop; Matt was back in [competition on] the hole.
We used a complex format to determine the winning group. Best two balls were counted and the Matt/Tim/John group celebrated in the clubhouse while the Jeff/Russ/Jim group rattled off a number of excuses.
(editor's note: Although I wasn't there to see Jeff's expert use of the "hand wedge", his outstanding performance at this event pretty much gave him a lock on the "Tracker of the Year" award)
The UGTO (originally known as The [Don't Leave Your Car Windows] Open), 7/27/06 at Keney
Based on the unprecedented turnout for this event and the overwhelmingly positive response from those who participated, Keney has cemented itself as the UGT (Urban Goat Track), a counterpart to the GT, which is quite possibly the highest form of praise a Track can achieve.
As a frame of reference, most tournaments/outings have kickers like longest drive, closest to the pin, etc. The kickers for the UGTO were: farthest from the pin, best shot to go OB, worst shot to stay in bounds, and best use of "course features" (shots careened off bridges, bunker lips, rakes, yardage markers, etc.
Best shot to go OB goes to Matt for his drive that ended up in the brook, or the schmeg near it on #2. Too bad because he could've gone even lower than 39.
Worst shot to be dead to rights OB, but end up in play: shared by Willie and Dave for truly ugly, yet playable shots.
Farthest from the pin: Lou for his effort on #6. As Matt so aptly put it, "the hole's a hundred yards, he hit it a hundred yards, and he was a hundred yards from the pin. It was like an equilateral triangle." (you wouldn't think that there would be enough room on a par 3 to go that wide of the pin and still be on the same hole, but if you play it properly, you can) Tough to top that.
Willie gets special recognition for grabbing the bull by the horns and filling in at the 11th hour when there was a last minute bailout. In addition, he gets the ZZ Top (or Blue Velvet [depending on your pop culture frame of reference]) "sharp dressed man award" for playing in business casual attire, complete with penny loafers, which Dave thought were just stylish golf shoes...it's a metrosexual thing, I guess.
As for the less important stuff, like scoring..."Sweet Swingin'" Matt (as he refers to himself) had his A++ game, capturing low gross with a 39, but in the end it wasn't enough to get his team over the hump and the overall individual/group/team best ball match ended in a draw.
The GT Open 4/28/06 at the GT, of course
Good buzz for the first event of the season at the venerable GT with turnout about average at 6 players. This event was held before the GT site was up & running, so it wasn't well documented. That's not expected to be an issue for the inaugural event of the 2007 season.
