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The original Goat Tracker Survey, a/k/a the front 9, circa 2006.

1) Have you ever played a course where a body was found within 100 feet of the red stakes?
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 2) When confronted with the inevitable hardpan tee box, do you:
    a) persist in putting the peg in the ground, even after you've broken 3 tees
    b) pull a mini pry-bar and ball peen hammer out of your bag
    c) just grip it & rip it, using a tee is overrated

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 3) Have you ever asked the BCC (beer cart chick) about her tattoos?
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4) Do you factor in topspin to get over either a schmeg filled pond or a compacted (sand-optional) trap?
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5) The last time you were in a trap, you thought:
    a) wow, this sand's so soft, it reminds me of that trip to Antigua!
    b) how far would I hit behind the ball if I landed on a cement sidewalk?
    c) why couldn't I have hit that ******* rake to keep my ball out of the trap?
    d) this is a better lie than I had on the tee

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6) When addressing a putt on a green at a public course, you read the break:
    a) from both in front of and behind the hole
    b) more often than not
    c) occasionally
    d) never

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7) Rate your skills with the "hand wedge" on a scale from 1 - 10
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8) The ball that you started your last 9 with was (a)
    a) Titleist
    b) Nike
    c) Pinnacle
    d) not sure, I just reached into the bag and found one
    e) should've been a range ball, based on where my drive ended up
    f) sure as hell not the same one I finished my round with

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9) Last & least, which is your preferred means of gamesmanship?
    a) picking up the flag while your opponent is trying to sink a very makable putt
    b) talking during your opponent's backswing
    c) general psychological warfare
    d) allowing a marginal gimme on the first hole, ultimately followed by "I think you should finish that one" on an even shorter putt at a crucial juncture in the match (occasionally followed by "the vulcan death grip" and a huge choke job.  See Rick Reilly's description of Sergio Garcia in match play in his book "Who's Your Caddy?" for details [
check the Recommended Tracker Reading List]).
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Since this is a self-scored survey, if you think you've convinced yourself that you have what it takes to be a Goat Tracker, congratulations!  If you've scored more than 40 in this mess, you've done well and are probably a Tracker, even if you aren't aware of it or don't want to be.


Goat Tracking Q-School

If you consider yourself a Goat Tracker or aren't sure whether you're in touch with your "Inner Sherpa," this is where you can find out...maybe.  Three sets of 9  questions; test yourself on the Front 9, the Back 9, or the Executive/Beginner's 9.  Most Goat Trackers would take this survey like their golf, 9 at a time, but that's your call.


Just like in golf, you're responsible for keeping your own score on these surveys (answers and corresponding scores available through PDF links).  The difference from your typical round at the local Goat Track is that you're trying for the highest score possible, as opposed to earning it the hard way.  Then again, much like a round at the Goat Track, score may be pretty meaningless.  Good Luck!