1) [Mulligans] How many mulligans should you take during a casual round?
a) None. I’m above that
b) None. I’d hate to skew the scoring for the group/field
c) Hmmm…I see a great opportunity for a lateral drop. I’m saving the mully for
d) Can’t I take just one more crack at it?
e) I’ll take ‘em wherever I can get ‘em
2) [Grab Your Marbles] How many golf balls should you have in your pocket, in addition to the one you have in hand, on the way to the tee box?
e) Could be any of the above, but I always add one if it’s a water hole
3) [Swing advice] If you happen to be in the same rough, tree line, or next fairway over (left or right) as someone else who can’t break 60 for 9 holes, your approach to accepting swing tips should be:
a) Politely ignore, realizing that someone else in the same predicament with a similar skill level most likely can’t offer any useful swing advice
b) Get up to your ball and hit as quickly as possible to pre-empt any such advice
c) Tell that person that he/she should follow your lead as you hammer out of it (believe in your shot)
4) [Holing Out] We’ve all been there; waiting to hit into a green while the group ahead gives the impression that mortgage payments, car titles… and quite possibly of the future of the universe as we know it… ride on the outcome of a 4-foot putt. If you and your group are on the front end of such a potential mishap, with an open tee box (or more) in front of you, your approach is:
a) look back to guage how eager/able the group behind you is to launch an approach shot into you
b) line up your putt and plumb bob it a few times
c) mark and clean your ball, then sink the putt
d) beg for a gimme, even though it’s not
5) [Time Travel] This hole has two different layouts, similar to the 16th at Airways and the 3rd at (the shopping complex formerly known as) Canton Public GC (moment of silent reverence, please), both of which might be played as either a short par-4 or a par-5 over water, depending on seasonal wetland conditions.
(the par-5 version) Revisiting a version of an age-old math problem that we’re all familiar with: Group A can play 9 holes at a typical Goat Track in 2 hours, 10 minutes; Group B typically takes 2 hours, 35 minutes to play the same 9. Group A tees off right behind Group B. How long does it take group A to play 9 holes from the time they tee off?
a) 2 hrs. 10 min.
b) 2 hrs. 25 min.
c) 2 hrs. 35 min.
d) 2 hrs. 45 min.
(the par-4 version) When you’ve got a foursome crawling up your ass, you:
a) pick up the pace of play
b) wave the group behind through after they’ve teed off on a par 4
c) let them play through on a par 3
d) analyze your last shank from where you hit it
6) [Lost m’balls] Not exactly unfamiliar territory on your laps around the Track, to be sure. Your preferred m.o. on a “seek and hit” quest is:
a) I think this one could be mine
b) I’m determined to find it, but I can’t
c) I’m taking the lateral drop
7) [Ready golf/playing in turn] If one or more golfers in your group has advanced in front of your projected shot path as you hit from either the rough or a familiar tree line, a common occurrence, you:
a) didn’t give them a heads up
b) should hit towards them because “projected” and “actual” shot paths…well the chances of them converging are pretty f***ing slim.
c) assume they’re implying that you should punch out
8) [Flag Placement] The person who pulls the pin on the green is
a) The one with the shortest putt
b) The one who can get to it first
c) The one with a live grenade
9) [Closing the Loop] You line up and sink a putt for double par (highest recordable score per the Rules of Goat Tracking*) from about 3 feet on the last hole, with a group waiting to hit behind you as sunset, if not complete darkness, sets in. The next words out of your mouth are:
a) “Wow! Glad I made that.”
b) “Great round. Thanks. I enjoyed playing with you all”
c) “The first round is on me.”
d) None of the above applies
There are a lot Goat Trackers out there aspiring to Sherpa status (and who can blame them) who haven't quite yet grasped some of the basic concepts needed to put themselves on the path to Goat Tracking Enlightenment. We're here to help. The questions/answers on this portion of the Q-School Survey are constructed much like any beginner course, i.e. pretty straightforward and geared toward boosting your ego. We've even limited the multiple choice answers to 3 on four of the questions. If your an Aspiring Goat Tracker, you may just learn something; at least we hope so.
"Par" on this 9 is 35 (or 34, depending on how you choose to play/answer #5. The objective on this 9 is to achieve the lowest score possible (as opposed to the other two 9's where a high score earns you a golf clap). If you can keep it to about 5 over par here, you should be in good shape; the Beginner's 9 sets up for more eagle opportunities than any of us can reasonably expect while at the Goat Track.
Onto the First Tee: