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Wampanoag Country Club (West Hartford, CT:  review submitted by Sherpa JB, October, 2009)

A friend invited the 2008 Goat Tracker of the Year, Wink, and me for a round at a private course in West Hartford called Wampanoag Country Club.  As I pulled in and positioned my high-mileage 1999 SUV between two late-model S-Class Benzes, I noticed another golfer pulling into the lot.  I watched closely as a golfing goddess exited her Mercedes mini-van just a few spots away.  Captivated by her beauty and grace, it was love at first sight for me.  Her long dark hair, short golf skirt, and tight top exuded the unmistakable aura of self-confidence and wealth.  Intoxicating.  Seeking to impress her with my sophisticated persona, I spit out my gum and zipped my pants.  As I prepared to introduce myself to my future wife, I was interrupted by the world's nicest starter, Randy.  Apparently, delivering one's golf cart to their vehicle is part of the experience at Wamp.  Randy leapt out, welcomed me, ripped the bag from my hand and loaded it while asking a number of questions about personal preferences regarding beer, cigars, bag positioning on cart, etc., etc., etc...I hug Randy and tell him no one has ever cared this much about me.

I love this place already and I'm still in the parking lot.

After convincing Randy that I'm capable of finding the range, putting green, locker room and pro shop without his assistance, I finally push him away and redirect my attention.  I loosen up my muscular physique on the range, while maintaining my best stalker stare on my future wife in the tight sweater.

Interrupted yet again...this time by the golf pro, who introduces himself and tells me how happy he is that I am spending the day at Wampanoag.  I tell the pro that i join him in his happiness and ask him to back away because he's obstructing my view.  Unfortunately, the rest of my group arrives, ending the best part of my day so far.  Fortunately,  we were soon on the first tee watching Ms. Tight Sweater and her equally alluring partner, I'll call her Ms. Best Smile on Earth, tee off.  Moments later, I experience the best view ever on a golf course, as Ms. Tight Sweater and Ms. Best Smile on Earth walk down the emerald fairway, contrasting a perfect blue sky.  Breathtaking.

I learn there are only two rules at Wampanoag Country Club:  pay your dues on time and play fast.  We hit from the back tees, which extended the golf experience to nearly 6,700 yards.  Long, but manageable for 15-handicappers like Wink and I.  All of us played great golf that day.  The reason?  Perfect attitude.  Just the most pleasant atmosphere possible.  This is why rich people are generally so happy; you'd have to be, playing in these conditions.  Coolers with cold beer on the cart, perfect lies, raked traps, I could go on, but I'm on a word count here...

Summing it up
Pace of play:  Perfect.  Finished in 3 hrs. 45 min.
Layout:  Perfect.  A Donald Ross classic
Greens, tee boxes, fairways, traps:  10 on a scale of 1 to 9
Service:  Holy shit!  Just stop, I can't take it!  10 on a scale of 1 to 9
Value:  Free for me so wtf?  Not sure what it costs to maintain a membership at Wampanoag, but if you have the dough to make it happen, I can't think of a better place to spend it.