...out of 4 GT logos
The Golf (Finally)
So grossly unimaginative in name that an accountant must have coined it, Mile Square Golf Course was a Military airstrip in the 40’s and 50’s so the course derives its name from the perfectly square parcel of land it sits on. What this OC version of a Goat Track lacks in topological character, it makes up for with an enormous Goat Tracking personality, combined with ultimate convenience. Let’s start with the 36 hole muni-licous layout. The two courses are distinct from one another. “The Players” is links style, while “The Classic” is a Parkland layout. I prefer both; one on Saturday, the other on Sunday. The facility offers everything: a driving range, multiple putting greens, stocked pro shop, and a full restaurant/bar with big screen plasmas. With damn near 365 days of perfect playing conditions, I’m considering parking an RV in the lot and moving in. It’s a Muni with 36 that puts out 5-somes (that’s right, 5 somes), so the parking lot looks like Giants Stadium on game day.
Mega play here results in a chaotic pro shop, shoulder-to-shoulder driving range, and a putting green that looks like a night club dance floor. Though crowded, it was orderly until the loud speakers crackled with “Calling the Lee group to the tee…the Lee Group” and 20 carts headed off to #1; hilarious! Remember, Asians love their golf as much as we do and our friends from Mexico are catching on quickly. The beauty of a multi-cultural golf experience is learning three ways to say “WTF” when someone in the group yanks a dead pull or misses a four footer for par. A few times I’ve been the only English speaking person in our group and it’s always a great experience. I love Mile Square for this reason alone.
You can expect reasonable prices ($50 w/cart) and excellent conditions. Hell, we are in Southern California, so if the course is not in great shape the greens keeper is either Carl Spackler or the folks that brought us the 2013 version of Keney Park in Hartford. Both courses are an easy walk with a few small ponds and a barely-there rough. The slope and ratings are similar so I can’t say one course is more challenging than the other, just different . The greens are flat and the whole damn place is so f’en playable you can relax and enjoy a beverage from the beer cart chick; her name was Bev (I’m still laughing about that!)
Exit... stage left (coast)
After completing Sunday's round, there's plenty of time to eat, catch a movie, visit Venice beach, and then return the rental... since your flight doesn’t leave LAX until 11:30 PM. That’s right, a true red-eye. This way, you arrive at Bradley at 7:30 a.m.; wash the bourbon and ambien out of your mouth, change your shirt in the airport crapper, then roll straight into the office, instantly becoming the envy of your co-workers. The boss will notice that your eyes match your sunburn, along with that stupid, sleep-deprived look on your face. Everyone realizes that their weekend sucked and yours was awesome. Total cost, $1,000 for the whole load. Who deserves it more than you?
Just based on the sheer enjoyment of the whole thing, Mile Square gets:
The weather sucks in CT every winter. You can depend on it. Please don’t say stupid shit like “hasn’t been too bad so far.” Take action and use that credit card for what God intended. There is an airport just north of Hartford and it offers a daily non-stop to El Lay! Sure, one could save a few hours and run to Florida, but why risk a rainout? Seems like every winter’s day is 68-72 in Los Angeles with bright sunshine and American flight 1351 rolls out of dreary old CT at 9:30am, touching down at LAX at 12:30, so stop being a dick and book now.
Blow off a Friday at the office (cough cough..) and hop out to LA, grab your rental, heave the bags in and head down Century Blvd. and ask yourself, “What country did I land in?” Don’t worry, the signs change from Korean to Spanish in a few blocks, then into English 10 miles later as you head south on the 405. I recommend checking in at a hotel in Orange County. There are a bunch of reasonable options close to the golf course on Dyer Ave. Super bonus; you’re now located near Newport Beach and since you’ve had a long day, go enjoy the cluster of high end bars and restaurants. Remember, strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet. Limit is 10 drinks because tomorrow is a great day at Mile Square Golf Course, Orange County’s version of a municipal goat track.