You have found the GOAT TRACK
...or maybe the Goat Track has found you...either way, this is where you can heed "the Call of the Track" and see what it's all about.  Golf course reviews, commentary & essential golf gear, all with Tracker perspective & attitude.  Take some time to wander around the Goat Track.
Yankees Haiku
Although it has nothing to do with the Goat Track site concept, we had a page to work with and it made sense to have one dedicated to "The World's Team," the New York Yankees, since most of the GT insiders are either dedicated fans or true Yankee haters.

Misc.:  This page is an offshoot of the "'Haiku Thursday" feature on marseliworld.com (currently on hiatus) with singular focus on the New York Yankees (for the most part).  It would be too easy to host another blog where everyone could rant about the ups & downs of the Bronx Bombers; however, limiting each rant to 17 syllables is both enlightening and entertaining.

We recently noticed the Yankees Haiku feed on Twitter; a great format for it, to be sure, but we'd like to think that what's been posted here, with some exceptions, is generally more amusing, entertaining, and wait for it....Zen-like, than what has sprung forth from folks who generally work in 140 characters or fewer with their thumbs most of the time.  We appreciate the nod to "17 syllables at a time" that was originally posted here in 2006, but "Umpire State of Mind" gets less catchy every time it's repeated.  Despite our primitive approach, Yankees Haiku on Goat-Track.com is still the #1 ranked Yankee Haiku site on Google; there may be something to be said for that.

For other baseball-related stuff on the GT site, check the "Spring Training: Rants, Raves & Reviews" section of the BCC page for reviews of the spring training/minor league ballparks in the Tampa area (five Gulf Coast parks reviewed 2007, one added and one updated in 2009).

If you've found your "Haiku Chi" and can compress your thoughts into a 3-line, 5-7-5 syllable format, as demonstrated in
this clip featuring the gang from South Park, send them to goattracker@yahoo.com and they'll be posted, possibly inspiring other fans or haters.  Rest assured we'll never be presumptuous enough to hold a "haiku conference" that yields this kind of crap.  Looking forward to more baseball enlightenment this year, 17 syllables at a time...
The Yankees Haiku "Separated at Birth" gallery; a nod to Spy Magazine, precursor (and better version) of "The Onion" (not nearly as clever here, but not meant to be...)

Justin the Met and Steve the Pirate

Bearded Rays bench coach/philosopher, Dave Martinez and aging bearded hippie philosopher/troubadour, Richie Havens
 
Budding catching guru Francisco Cervelli and Flintstones interplanetary guru, The Great Gazoo
 
A Noble Groundhog and "Yankees Haiku Hall of Famer" carl "groundhog" pavano (see groundhog haiku if you need perspective)

 
Single White Female (from Torre's book).   Is that Bridget Fonda or Jennifer Jason Leigh?
 
Gold Member and Gold Thong Slumpbuster
 
 Poppie and Big Papi, both known for being "a little sloppy"
 
Dice Clay and Dice K, OHHHH!


Nemesis of Foghorn Leghorn, the Chicken Hawk, and nemesis of fundamental baserunning skills, the Swish Hawk
 

Ian Kennedy and Tweek, "It's way too much pressure, man!"


The Yankees Haiku Archives
There have been several hundred Haiku posted on this page since 2006.  We've archived some of the "vintage Haiku" by subject and date to make the page more manageable, but it's still a work/train wreck in progress.  If you'd like to contribute to Yankees Haiku, please email goattracker@yahoo.com.  Thanks.

 Inspirational Haiku Events
Favorite Haiku Targets
Other Favorite Haiku Topics
Chronological  Yankees Haiku (regular season)
In Memoriam
 Star Wars Night - KC 9/06 carl "Groundhog" pavano Playoff Haiku - 2006, 2007, 2008,2009, 2010
2006 - post all-star break The Scooter - 8/07
 Girls' Night Out - KC 7/07 A-Rod, (occasionally E-Rod) 2006-2007  Hot Stove Haiku - '06 - '07
'08 - '09
 2007 pre all-star break  Bobby Murcer - 7/08
 Foul Pole Squirrel 8/07  Play-by-Play Genius
 Spring Training Haiku - 2007  2007 - post all-star break "old" Yankee Stadium, 2008
 Torre Post-partem Haiku   Inter-league Play Haiku - 2008
2008 - pre all-star break
George Steinbrenner and Bob Sheppard - 7/10
 Performance Enhanced Haiku (Clemens/Pettitte version 2008)   Trade Deadline Haiku - 2008
 2008 - post all-star break
 
 Performance Enhanced Haiku, the A-Rod Version, circa 2009
   HOF nomination, rejection, and induction Haiku
 2009 - pre all-star break
 
 Giambi's Slumpbuster Thong - 5/08
       
 Torre's book, "The Yankee Years"        
 Jeter 3,000 7/11
       
Note:  Some of the references within the haiku on this page will make absolutely no sense unless you follow the Yanks on the YES network and even then they may not make much sense.

Thanks to all who have contributed to Yankees Haiku, including those who found their way here through the NY Times Torre Haiku blog, following the 2007 post season, after Old Joe was cut loose for New Joe.

Onto more current Yankees Haiku......Deep Thoughts and Random Musings from aficionados of the GT site & Yankees Haiku...(we'd like to think that pop culture icon Godzilla Chick [pictured below in costume at Legends Field, March, 2003] would approve)...Matsui-san may have left the Yankees, but the spirit of Godzilla Chick lives on The Yankees Haiku Page...grasshoppah!
post all-star break Haiku, 2011

8/13 against the Rays in the Bronx.  Hip, hip, Jorge!
scrap heap to scrap book
Posada rips a new page
six ribbie effort


game ending pick-off 8/9 vs. Angels
pro wrestling in Bronx
Curtis caught in "full Nelson"
Kay in disbelief


8/4 vs. ChiSox
butane set aflame
Nova lights fire under Hughes
competition burns


8/3 (ChiSox), 8/9 (Angels), etc. take your pick
running mascara?
Burnett has make up issues
Mary Kay can't fix


7/31, series finale against the O's

forget "who's on first"
Cervelli now plays second
lead runner cut down


7/30, 2nd half of the split double header vs. the Orioles
not a Scranton fan
close to a superNova
battles for sunspot


7/26 vs. Mariners, Sabathia starts flirting with a no-no

Dominant CC
unhittable through six plus
outdueled by the tarp

M's rack up the K's
Atlantic City CC
dealing yet again
 
7/22 vs. the Athletics
where did "plus stuff" go?
a conf-Hughes-ing start from Phil
bench staff and fans vexed

7/9/11.. plus a day or two; the most inspirational Yankees Haiku event of the first half, the nailbiter that revolved around Derek Jeter's 3,000th hit

Shepard in good voice
suitable for occasion
Sooz and Sterling hmmm…

Mister Three Thousand
not from the Bernie Mac script
why buy the whole seat?

so not off-Broadway
unwritable script says Jete
perfect production

spellbound audience
Theater of Excellence
thrilling final act

Grandstands reached in left
An un-Jeterian swing
three thousand with style

all about winning
not the Charlie sheen version
Jete could do no wrong

even critics pause
not old Jete in box today
just the Jete of old

great supporting cast
legacy of big moments
Jete rises again

5/30/11:  bullpen management deja vu Haiku


ticket getting punched
express train to Proctor-ville
David Robertson

5/14/11: Posada takes a day off while in the funkiest of funks, plus some other early season Yankees Haiku.


most un-Bueller-like
Jorge's day off not much fun
Cashman ‘s gummy bears

so no mo' Jo Po?
three hours of Buck's booth angst
Jorge Po-saga

Cashman or Kramden?
bus does not stop for Jorge
just leaves tire tracks

Jorge’s Pout saga
Sports talk radio amok
then the dust settles


(with a timely in-memoriam tie-in)

cages swing open
remodeled Bronx Zoo anew
without Bill Gallo

Other misc. early season Haiku

lost on Dale Mabry
returns to bring in a run
looked very relaxed

Cano loves short porch
party on the patio
sans ZZ Top beard

swish hawk reappears
swooping down dinger of prey
gliding in two spot

2010 Playoff Haiku

World Series Haiku
no whips or latex
pitching dominates Rangers
nary a safe word

hanging by a hair
Rapunzel sealing the deal
Giants take hardware

(on revisiting the 2009 WS matchup after the Yanks take the pipe against Texas)

quoth Apollo Creed
"Ain't gonna be no rematch"
Yanks KO'd in 6th

(ALCS Game 6)
retread from Japan
screaching halt to playoff run
a tired offense

(ALCS Game 3)
"For Lease" sign is gone
Lee now rents space in Yanks' yeads
bats have been locked out

Yankee dairy farm
udderly futile offense
bats fall off a Cliff

(ALDS vs. Minnesota)
Twins now play on grass
Yanks still sweep them under rug
Swisher goes Swiffer

(NLDS - Giants bullpen)
"Just for Men" sales boom
"Fear the Beard"...or shoe polish?
a scraggly closer

9/8/10 series finale

Swisher Sweet walk-off
Orioles' sweep up in smoke
Blunt force sends ball out

July 4th, 2010, hosting the Blue Jays at "The Theater of Excellence"

Thames brings fireworks
situational hitting
"flare" for dramatic

new hats for the 4th
Grandy opts for sombrero
Golden afternoon

Sheriff Molina
the not so OK Corral
gunned down thrice at plate

Blinded by the Light
Gardy goes Inside Yardy!
Sunshine Superman

2009:  post all-star break

Yanks sweep Sox

the anti-Torre
Hughes not trotted out Sunday
bullpen management

"best is yet to come"
frank Sabbathia statement
backs up Post headline

miserable weekend at The Cell

Tour d'France Melkster
first cyclist since Fernandez
sweep averted...phew!

post ASB, starting off hot at home, sweeping the Tigers and Orioles

short leash for Bruney
briefly peeks out from doghouse
homers send him back

unusual sight
forty-five on mound for Yanks
first win for Mitre

AL East Division Clinching stuff, 9/21/11

in a pinch to clinch

clutch base knock from bench you say?

chant, "hip, hip, Jorge!"

David Robertson bails Sabathia's ass out, big time

not peach not berry

bases loaded is preferred

Robertson's fave jam

dog days Haiku, 2011

9/19.  Another Burnett implosion.  great from the shoulder down, dead from the neck up.

seen this flick before

no lead safe when Burnett lurks

"The Unravelling"

September call-ups

cat in a new hat

called up from Scranton-Whoville

Hey Seuss Montero

(courtesy of DM/Rabbit Ears)

minor league phenom

hitting not the problem though

trade him for pitching

9/8 Scott Proctor returns to the fold and gives it up in an extra inning loss in Baltimore (courtesy of DM/Rabbit Ears)

Proctor and gamble

making a pitch with old brand

but no Mister Clean

8/25 Yanks pound A's in Bronx

modern family

Yanks first to have three grannies

only in New York

2011 Home Run Derby Haiku.  Why?  Why not?

father and son bond
Kruk quips “Field of Dreams moment”
pitching and thumping

“Cano can flat hit”

Kitty Kaat knew years ago
Nomah loves swing too

unpredictable

more sentimentality
Cano hugs Torre

planets lining up?

feel-good moments abounding
lest the second half

2nd Subway series, 2011, at Citi Field

(game 3)
extra inning loss
Yanks Pena-lized by defense
Scranton bus leaves soon

(game 2)
Colon’s rehab start
Met’s Triple A lineup fits
Fatolo bounces

golly Gee Dillon
third trip through order the charm
the Grandyman can

crazy bat wild arm
E. Nunez thrill a minute
and quite aptly named

(game 1)
dinner time for Pelf
early bird special for Yanks
Pelf cannot find plate

2010/2011 Hot Stove Haiku (highlighting Yankees activities, but we'd be [bigger] idiots if we didn't chime in on other teams' activities.

missing ace in hole

will Cashman draw inside straight?

how will next hand play?

horse led to water

Lee prefers different stream

one with much less cash

(2 from esteemed GT/Yankees Haiku contributor "Rabbit Ears")

how much is too much?

banker bonuses too high

where is the outrage?

(groundhog haiku never gets old, glad to add another)

poking his head out

longer than normal life span

where to burrow next?

green monster contract

ray migrates to chowdah land

Crawford stings angels

Wrapping up interleague play; new Joe vs. old Joe at Chavez Ravine


magical comeback
Torre waves wand at bullpen
POOF!  lead disappears

Where have you gone, Fletch?
"I hate Tommy LaSorda"
not a Fox exec

fat penguin bastard
McCarver and Buck booth tough?
just add LaSorda

New York kennel club
Vazquez trots out of doghouse
Burnett leaping in

Subway series, part deux

Gaga over Yanks
flipping clothes off, not the bird
Bad Citi Romance

Interleague vs. Houston 6/11-6/14

weekend at Denny's
Posada feasts on Grand Slams
Did he tip servers?

Subway Series, part 1 at Citi Field
subway substandard

Flushing series down toilet
Mets in Airwick mode?
The mini-series against the Sox in da Bronx (5/17 - 5/18)

bullpen or pigpen
upwind mound stinking it up
Aceves, ride herd

speaking with his bat
Miranda not so silent
the right to go yard

so close yet so far
cinco ocho gives it up
Thames has come today

serving thirty-eight
Bronx bakery now open
Thames gets a cream pie

Haiku kicking off the 2010 Season, through the 2nd 3-game set at the Fens in May (reverse order)

channelling Rick Vaughn
Cano's knee less than tickled
Beckett goes "Wild Thing"

big helmet big game
Cervelli wowing the fans
he can catch...and hit?

Gardner in full bloom
Robbie continues to rake
rosy Bronx April

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